Pretending to Be Fine - Undoing the Middle Child Mask with Nic Collins

Nic Collins grew up a middle child with undiagnosed ADHD, chronic asthma, and the quiet belief that he wasn’t enough. By the time he hit adulthood, alcohol had become a daily habit and emotional suppression a lifestyle. But everything changed after a DUI arrest, an unlikely friend's support, and the subsequent therapy sessions that changed his perception of himself. Now, six years sober and newly graduated as a mental health counsellor, Nic shares his journey from struggling to fit in to learning how to live in service of others. 

Key Takeaways

• Childhood trauma can hide in “normal” households—emotional needs can still go unmet.
• Middle-child syndrome is real, especially when paired with sensitivity and lack of early emotional tools.
• ADHD and alcohol abuse often go hand-in-hand due to impulsivity and emotional dysregulation.
• Sobriety doesn’t look the same for everyone. You don’t have to do AA to recover—daily intention can also work for some people.
• Therapy isn't just about fixing relationships with others—it’s about understanding yourself.
• Service work can awaken a spiritual calling, even if you don’t have the language for it yet.
• You’re never too old to start over. Nic walked away from a long career to pursue a degree in counselling at 40+.
• Self-acceptance and healing are nonlinear journeys.

About: Nic Collins is a public speaker, mental health professional, and writer with a passion for helping others live with authenticity, confidence, and alignment. He holds a Master's in Counselling and Rehabilitation and brings experience in coaching, mentorship, and creative therapeutic approaches, including narrative and adventure-based work.  Nic is creator and co-host of the Constant Quest Podcast, and curator of The Advance, a men's gathering in the mountains of north Georgia, focusing on community, connection, and growth.  

Connect at: Instagram, Website, Podcast

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 2:53 Early Life - Asthma, Allergies & Feeling ‘Different’
• 6:23 Middle Child Syndrome & Emotional Suppression
• 9:12 College, ADHD Diagnosis & Failing Out
• 16:25 Navigating Adult Life and Career
• 19:24 Depression, Alcohol & Suicidal Thoughts
• 26:40 Turning Point: Seeking Therapy
• 31:21 A 10 Year Journey of Therapy: Finding Myself
• 36:08 DUI Arrest & the Start of Sobriety
• 41:43 Resisting Temptation: Coping Without Alcohol
• 44:45 Friendships and Change: Evolving Relationships
• 49:24 Bolivia & Nicaragua - FInding More Through Serving Others
• 58:50 A New Path: Transitioning to Therapy
• 1:01:55 ADHD With and Without Meds
• 1:08:29 Mindfulness and Holistic Practices
• 1:16:17 Coaching and Therapy: Different Approaches
• 1:18:59 Men's Emotional Health and Support
• 1:24:51 Where to Connect with NIc
• 1:27:56 Advice for Middle Child People
• 1:29:38 Tools and an Exercise to Use When Anxiety Hits
• 1:34:00 Closing