Beyond “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”: What Helps and What Hurts in Grief with Chris Mamone

Grief coach Chris Mamone returns to Wisdom Without the Guru to talk about what genuine support looks like when someone is grieving. Drawing from his own experience after the loss of his son, and from conversations on his Empowered Grief Journey podcast, Chris tells us about how the wrong words can deepen pain, and how simple presence can heal.
 
This conversation spans a wide field: the difference between empathy and comparison, why men’s grief is often overlooked, the isolation that siblings feel when their loss is minimised, and how pet loss reveals unconditional love. Chris also shares ways for grievers to set boundaries — how to say “that hurt me” or “I need space” — without guilt.
 
It’s a grounded discussion about language, emotion, and compassion. For anyone navigating grief, or trying to support someone who is, this episode offers clear guidance on how to be human together when life falls apart.

Key Takeaways

• Grief is not a problem to solve. People want to feel seen and heard, not fixed.
• Presence often means more than words; silence is sometimes the greatest comfort.
• Avoid comparison. Saying “I know how you feel” shifts attention away from the griever.
• Men’s and siblings’ grief are frequently overlooked — both need space to be acknowledged.
• Pet loss can trigger deep grief because of its unconditional bond; don’t minimise it.
• Grievers can set boundaries and name what hurts without guilt.
• Supporters should avoid phrases like “time heals,” “move on,” or “you’ll have another one.”
• Real empathy is asking “What do you need today?” and listening to the answer.

About: Chris Mamone is an Acceptance Coach and the Founder of The Empowered Grief Journey Coaching Practice and Podcast. He helps individuals move from a place of pain into a place of hope and empowerment through their grief. Chris supports those navigating grief, loss, and trauma to rediscover self-acceptance and step into their personal power so they can create an inspiring future grounded in healing, truth, and purpose.

Connect at Website, Facebook, Podcast

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 1:50 Chris on co-authoring a book with 22 grievers
• 7:09 Why “sorry for your loss” can feel empty
• 10:46 Learning to be present instead of fixing
• 15:36 Unseen grief: siblings, fathers and gendered expectations
• 20:59 Pet loss and why unconditional love hits hardest
• 25:00 What grievers can say to protect themselves from hurtful comments
• 29:46 Boundaries: declining help that doesn’t help
• 32:57 When silence is better than words
• 37:17 The absolute no-nos: phrases to avoid when someone is grieving
• 37:31 The problem with “I know how you feel” and comparing grief
• 39:05 Time heals all - a way of writing off grief
• 40:00 Presence as the greatest gift
• 40:56 Closure and connecting with Chris