From Misdiagnosis and Career Changes to Conscious Parenting with Rachel Brown

Rachel Brown’s life has involved more than one unexpected change of direction.

From moving schools and struggling to find where she belonged, to living for years from puberty with unexplained health concerns, she often responded by working harder, keeping busy and trying to carry on.

In this conversation, Rachel shares how those early experiences influenced her education, career choices, relationships and approach to motherhood.

We discuss:

• Growing up as a sensitive and serious child
• Moving schools repeatedly and struggling to find where she belonged
• Living with unanswered health questions
• The long process of being diagnosed with Cushing’s disease
• Using schoolwork and music as ways to cope
• Changing direction through pharmacy, teaching and holistic therapies
• Experiencing breakdowns during periods of intense stress
• IVF, motherhood and raising her two sons
• Learning to recognise when her body needs rest
• Exploring holistic practices alongside medical care
• Supporting parents and children with emotions and stress

Rachel also reflects on achievement, self-worth and why learning to listen to herself has become increasingly important.

Her story is a reminder that finally receiving an answer does not necessarily resolve everything—and that starting again can take many different forms.

About: Rachel Brown empowers mums not just to raise conscious, confident children but to work with them through energetic and spiritual practices, along with coaching, to help them work through and overcome difficult emotions and limiting beliefs, and to heal from generational trauma. She also provides conscious parenting support.

Her journey includes battling a chronic illness in childhood, finding solace in music, and navigating the complexities of parenting two teenage boys, one with dyslexia.

With a background in pharmacy, holistic therapies, and primary education, she is passionate about helping families navigate emotional challenges and discover their fullest potential.

Connect at: FB Group, IG, Website

Transcript

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Introduction

Regina Sayer 0:01

Okay, and I just want to give a huge shout out to everybody who has been supporting the show, everybody who has joined me on Instagram and other social media and has shared the show. I really do appreciate you. And I know that in your sharing of the show and of other people's journeys, because some of the supporters have also been some of the people who have actually been on the show. And the fact that you share other people's journeys and don't just make it about yourself makes me feel fantastic. And I know that by doing this, the potential of reaching out and touching somebody else is even greater. So this show that we're about to listen to is with Rachel Brown. I don't know how she did it because, wow, it's amazing that you could go through the things that she did medically and still have the outlook on life that she does and the get-go that she does from being misdiagnosed in her early teen years and having it last for 17 years until they actually found out what was really wrong with her. And it wasn't even a doctor that found it out. It was the nursing school friend of her sister. I think that we do need to take our own medical life, if you want to call it that, in our hands and not blindly go to the doctor and just let them tell us what they think it is without questioning. And I'm very grateful that I do have this kind of relationship with the doctor that I have now, who is an integrated doctor. She listens to me and I can have a conversation with her. I know there are so many people who go through this. So I think that by listening to this, it also makes you understand and see through the eyes of somebody else how they managed going through all these difficult times. And perhaps it's something that you can take away from it, or perhaps it's also something that you can maybe suggest to somebody else how they deal with it. So I hope that you'll enjoy the show. And I ask you to leave a feedback or to leave a review or to share the show. Why do I do that? Purely so that the show can reach other people and that potentially it could help somebody else. Have a beautiful day, everybody.

Regina Sayer 2:33

Hi everybody and welcome back to another episode of Wisdom Without the Guru. I'm your host Regina. So today's questions for you are the following Have you ever experienced a move, a change of school, or even a shift in friendships that made you question where you belonged? Have you ever lived with a health concern or another unanswered question that no one seemed able to explain? And have you ever started down a path that seemed right at first, only to discover your mind or body couldn't keep going and you had to stop or begin again? And what about this? Can you recall a moment when finally getting an answer after years of not knowing completely changed how you understood yourself? Or perhaps have you sought healing or meaning outside the conventional path you were first encouraged to follow? These questions are the reality of today's guest, Rachel Brown. From childhood disruptions and unexplained health struggles to the intense pressures of school, to breakdowns, detours, and the long wait for diagnosis, her life has asked her to start over more than once. She's walked the complicated road of IVF and motherhood and eventually found herself reaching for ways of healing that went beyond the traditional paths she first pursued. Today, we'll step into that story with her, not to focus only on what she's doing now, but to understand how the experiences that came before have brought her here where she is today. And maybe they are elements of your own experience or someone that you know. So please do tune in. So welcome to the program, Rachel. I'm so happy to have you after your trip to Lausanne, I believe, where I watched you jealously post all these beautiful pictures.

Rachel Brown 4:28

Yes. Yeah. Well, thank you for having me. Yes, uh, not long back, it was Camdersteg actually in Switzerland that we spent most of the time. It's just the most beautiful place in the world.

Regina Sayer 4:38

Yeah, at some point I was actually supposed to move to Geneva, but that never transpired. I was always a bit sorry about that. I ended up in Belgium and then Singapore, so what can I say? It's been a twisted path.

Rachel Brown 4:50

Yes, as so many people have.

Regina Sayer 4:53

Okay, but thank you so much for joining me because I know that you have a very, very interesting story, and it's one that I've actually heard not in exactly the same way, but the issues with IVF and also the issues about being diagnosed late for something I've heard several times before with other guests. And, you know, sometimes you just have to shake your head and wonder what the heck is going on in the medical community. But I don't have the knowledge or the expertise, so I can't quote on that. But I hope that through your story we're able to see and glimpse because you actually were quite close also to the medical industry, so to speak, at some point. Okay. So let's start. Tell me first about your growing up and what it was like, because you said that you actually had a pretty good childhood uh up until the age of seven, I believe, and you were playing in the street and mostly with a group of boys, just having lots of fun. So can you talk about the dynamic of your family and growing up and where you grew up and what it was like then the thing that shifted for you as life continued and you made these moves?

Rachel Brown 6:02

Yeah,

Childhood, moving and belonging

Rachel Brown 6:03

I mean I did. I had a very happy childhood. I had parents who definitely loved me unconditionally, and I started life in Middlesex in England up until about the age of eight and went to school, did brownies, did all of the things. And as you say, parents were very close with the other parents in the street, and they were mostly boys, but to me that didn't really matter. I just got on with it, had the best time. My best friend from forever, who was born like five days after me, was a boy. And so, yeah, we played football. Mum and dad were an open house, really, and so everyone would come to our house. My dad was very hands-on, built climbing frames and a roly-poly frame where you could do roly-polies, and so yeah, it was just lovely. School was okay. I think I'd always been serious, and in fact, my mum recalls how people told her that it's no wonder I didn't smile because mum and dad never smiled. I think I was also very sensitive. I'd always worked hard at school, and I think also being the first, the oldest in the house meant that I was the first to experience all of these things. So, yeah, I mean, up until the age of eight, I was at this at that time, it was like first school down in Middlesex. And at the age of seven, my best friend moved to a different school, and I think that was the first time when I felt a little bit abandoned by someone because he'd gone off. And I remember thinking I don't particularly have anybody that I can talk to or ask round from school. I was sort of jumping from friends to friends, trying to get in with a group of people. Yeah, it was, you know, as childhood is um just sort of going to school. I did music, I played the recorder in school bands, I was a donkey at some point in the past. We did maypole dancing, I remember all of those things. But then at the age of eight, my dad got a new job, and so we had to move. And I remember clearly my mum making marmalade in the kitchen on the day that we moved. And I think also I picked up on her anxiety because she'd been so happy where we were living, she'd got a great job, and I think she felt uprooted, and that affected me. So, yeah, we moved then over to Kent, Westwickham in Kent. And actually, the school that I went to there was probably my favourite time of childhood after getting over the initial concern of making friends and just really doing that feel the fear and do it anyway kind of thing. I had a fantastic group of friends and I had a fantastic teacher as well, who actually really made me want to be a teacher at that time. So that was sort of for four years, and it was brilliant. And then it came to going to senior school, and I'd

Puberty, unexplained symptoms and isolation

Rachel Brown 9:25

was always worked hard, and I think I had quite a good intelligence, and so when we were going around the senior schools, I really wanted to go to the local grammar school. So I did, I got in and and that was brilliant, but all my other friends then went to a different school, and so I had to make a whole new set of friends at this school, and I found that incredibly difficult because it was about the time when the illness that you mentioned started to come to the fore. When I was eight, just before we moved, I was one of the tallest in the class. But by the time I got to 12, I really hadn't grown much upwards, but I'd started to put weight on. And having developed quite early on, I then was not having periods as my mum would have expected. And so we started down the route of going to a doctor's and trying to work out what was wrong, and that really set me on a path of a 16-year journey until I was diagnosed. But I think part of the issue with that going to the senior school was that it was an all-girls school, and I already started to feel slightly out of place because of all the hospital visits, and then the fact that I wasn't having the normal puberty symptoms and stuff, and all the other girls were talking about it, and the only way that I could cope was to work harder because I knew I could do that. So I literally put my heart and soul into work and I did extremely well, but I never felt I was able to get myself into a group of people at that point, and I was constantly going backwards and forwards to hospitals, up to London as well. And initially they diagnosed me with polycystic ovaries, which is something I still have.

Regina Sayer 11:32

And Rachel, what exactly is polycystic ovaries? What does that mean?

Rachel Brown 11:36

It's where your ovaries have these little cysts all inside of them, I believe. It can prevent menstruation because the eggs aren't able to come out of the ovaries, and it can also cause hair on the chin, and yeah, more it can cause the weight gain as well. And so all the symptoms seemed to fit at that time. And I remember having a blood test, and at the time my arms wouldn't give up much blood, so I felt really horrible. And then they told me I had to lose weight and get down to 50 kilograms, which, as a 12-year-old, is not the nicest advice when you're trying hard anyway to do other things. But I took it to heart, and I remember eating a grapefruit for breakfast. That was all I ate to try and lose the weight, and there wasn't the information around that there is today on good nutrition and on how to manage all of that. And my mum was obviously worried, but she didn't know how to handle it either. So we were just sort of feeling along, whilst I was also, because I do enjoy my food, I was also feeling quite upset about the fact that I had to try and lose weight, and I didn't really understand it either at the time. But what they also told me was that my bones had fused together, age 12, and so I wouldn't grow anymore. So I was stuck at that height, and having been really enjoying netball and doing lots of netball at at school, and actually starting at senior school netball and getting my colours in year one, by the time it got to year two, I was knocked off the team because I was too small. And it was just little things like that that started to infiltrate my mind. My other friends who were had been at primary school, they started to go to scouts together, and some of them may become boyfriend and girlfriend. And because I decided I wanted to go into music, which was actually my saving grace in a way, I didn't have that connection with them again. But I did do this music. I was in the Bromley School's orchestras, I played the oboe. It really, really did help me. And the more I've learnt recently, the more I understand how the vibrations of music can just literally realign everything in the body. And I think that's what allowed me to get through as well as I did in the end.

Regina Sayer 14:12

Were you not able to speak to anybody at school about what was going on with you? I mean, in the new school that you went to?

Rachel Brown 14:18

Not really. I think I was so lacking in confidence at that time. I think my parents, particularly my mum, became particularly overprotective of me for good reason. And she spoke to them. But I I think probably part of me didn't want anybody to know. But I I also think I just missed out on that whole teenage era, and you know, a lot of the girls were going out with boys, it wasn't something that even interested me. And and uh and now I realise because I didn't have the hormones in my body that were doing the things that do when you're interested in boys, and they watched trashy TV, which again, partly because I wasn't interested, I was more focused on getting the work done, but partly because that wasn't what my family did. And again, my mum said to me at one point, Well, just watch neighbours, Rachel, because then you'll have something to talk about. But it felt so alien and wrong to me at that time because it wasn't me. Anyway, the music, as I said, kept me going, and I was just about to become lead oboeist

Another move and more medical testing

Rachel Brown 15:29

in the Bromley School's orchestras when my dad got another job and we had to move up to Birmingham. So it was actually halfway through my GCSEs. So I'd learnt half the curriculum at the grammar school and then came up to it wasn't a grammar school, I can't remember what you call them now, but um a state school, which was boys and girls, and I could have gone to a grammar school, but my mum felt because my sister couldn't get into the grammar school, that we should both go to the same place. So that's where we ended up. And again, I just didn't feel comfortable, and the only way that I could deal with it was by working hard. And I remember other students looking at me because I always felt sorry for a teacher if they asked a question and no one put their hands up. So I was the one who put my hand up. I think I was old before my age, really. So yeah, what happened then was that because we'd moved, I had to go to all the hospitals up in Birmingham and have most of the tests redone again. So it was a constant backwards and forwards to hospitals. They really didn't know what was what was the matter.

Regina Sayer 16:40

Were they giving you any medication at this point?

Rachel Brown 16:42

No, nothing. And I still hadn't started my periods. So we did actually eventually see a new consultant at the children's hospital in Birmingham who realised that maybe I needed some progesterone. So we had some progesterone, and that did help. That started like withdrawal bleeds, so that I actually got some of those, but it still really didn't sort the whole mess out of why it was happening and all of that. And my mum constantly was researching, and she found a doctor at St. Thomas's in London who had done a lot of research into growth hormones, and obviously, because I'd stopped growing at 12, mum thought that might be useful. So that also happened in between times. So I was at hospital in Birmingham, hospital down in London. The doctors down there actually thought that it was depression causing all of the issues, so that's what they started with. They investigated the growth hormones, and that didn't really come to anything. I had all sorts of tests which really didn't give them any information. And this all was going on through my A levels and all of the work at school, and I'd also joined another orchestra in Birmingham, and it carried on throughout my degree. At school, I'd said to them after my

University, depression and changing direction

Rachel Brown 18:08

A levels, I wanted to become a teacher. And school had said to me, Well, you're too clever to go and do a teaching degree, Rachel. So you need to do something first, and then if you still want to be a teacher afterwards, you can go and do a PGCE.

Regina Sayer 18:23

What is that? Remember, you've got to speak to like you're speaking to people all over the world because they don't know what GCEs are, so that's the general certificate of education in the UK. The A levels is like an advanced degree you use to get into university, I believe.

Rachel Brown 18:38

Yeah. So A levels are six 17 and 18, like the higher ones of senior school, and then a PGCE, yeah, is a postgraduate certificate in education. So it's a one-year course that you can do to become a teacher after you've done a degree, so a postgraduate degree. So then I was in a bit of a quandary, not really knowing what to do at university. And I remember having prospectuses for all the universities spread out on the living room floor, trying to find something that I wanted to do. And I knew that I actually was quite interested in the medical side, but also in supporting people. And so I ended up going to Reading to do a speech therapy degree, which was okay to start with. But one week into my second year, when we'd moved into a house rather than halls of residence, I was in a psychology lecture, I think, and I just felt absolutely awful. I literally started to have a nervous breakdown at that point, and I think it was just the whole psychological side probably having a subconscious effect on me, but also the fact that I was very scientific, and so I wasn't getting it straight away, and that really impacted me. So I came home. I got on the train at Reading, came home, cried the whole way home on the train, and that was the end of that university thing. I actually then got sent to a psychiatrist who didn't really help me at all, other than that he said I needed to go on antidepressants. So we started on antidepressants, which, if anyone's been on antidepressants, you know that some of them don't work with you and some of them make you feel worse. And that was what happened with me. So I tried all sorts of different ones. And then I had a year out and got a little job at my old senior school working with some special needs children, and I'd also got myself a place at Exeter University to do a teaching degree. But after about six months at the school and teenage boys doing what teenage boys do, and me being only 19, it totally put me off teaching again. I didn't want to do senior school teaching, I wanted to do primary school teaching. But I think with all my illness coming through, still no answers, the depression still there in the background, it just impacted me so badly that I was like, no, I can't do teaching. So my mum then found me the pharmacy course at Aston, which is what I ended up doing.

Regina Sayer 21:25

It's amazing that I mean your parents sound really supportive because I'm just thinking of my own son. If he came back and said, okay, well, I've studied this and now I don't want to do it, and I want to study this, and now that's not working out either, you know, so I might pull his hair out. But your parents seem to be really considerate of the fact that you were going through this, and maybe it's because they also knew you were also dealing with the whole medical side of it as well, and that was contributing to it in a lot of ways.

Rachel Brown 21:54

I think so. I mean, I think I'd always wanted to go to university and and possibly the fact That my parents did have quite high expectations, although no, not overtly, but I think they knew I could do a degree. And having started at Reading and then given it up, I think they felt that it would give me some purpose as well. But I wouldn't have chosen pharmacy looking back at it now. I got a very good degree, but again, I wasn't happy. I spent the whole time working. I didn't really take part in any of the social activities or anything. The only thing that I did do was outside of university because in the year between Wedding and Aston, where I went to do pharmacy, I joined a social group called 18 Plus, which is something where you I mean it's not 18 to 30, but it was like where they arrange activities every week and you meet a group of people and do all of that sort of stuff. And I did carry that on throughout university. And then I remember for my 21st birthday, my dad coming and meeting me in the pub for a drink, and that that was all I did on my 21st birthday. We had had a wonderful party in the summer because my sister had been 18 as well, so it was sort of a two-part thing, but I didn't celebrate with anybody at university.

The clue that led to Cushing’s disease

Rachel Brown 23:20

And then all of this time, again, still going backwards and forwards to the hospital. My sister's friend had started a nursing degree, and um at some point she's she'd been reading one of her nursing articles or books and came across this thing called Cushing's disease, and she showed it to my sister and she said, This sounds exactly like what your sister's got. And Joe, my sister, told me, and and and my parents, and we're like, Okay, so we took this down to the doctor actually in London at the time, and they were flabbergasted, I think, because they had been investigating me for so many years and had not come up with this thing. But Cushing's disease is where you get a benign tumour on your pituitary, and it causes ten times too much stress hormone to course through your body and no other hormones at all, which would show why I didn't have periods and I'd stop growing, because the pituitary produces all of the female hormones, some of the male hormones, the growth hormone, thyroxin, all of that sort of stuff. And so then came more tests to see if that was right. And I had something called a petrosal sampling, which is where they stick a wire up through your the vein from your inner thigh, and it goes all the way up through your body and into your brain to take a sample from the pituitary, and and I'm uh I'm awake with all of this, I can feel it all going up.

Regina Sayer 24:55

No local anesthesia, nothing.

Rachel Brown 24:57

No. So they did that, they did a laparoscopy. I think I'd also had tests for celiacs disease and diabetes and so many things. Anyway, then I had a photograph by a male photographer, and I had to take everything off apart from my knickers. They wanted to see because there's a specific shape of body if you have Cushing's disease, you get a very round face, but you also have like a dowager's hump on the back, and it's um a fat hump because cushions, because of all of the stress, causes this extra fat to hang around on the body. But again, that was one of the m worst experiences in my life because you know, at 16 you don't really want that happening to you. But anyway, they didn't really get it down in London. They were also investigating it in Birmingham, and I had to have MRIs to see if they could see the tumour, and at first they couldn't find it, so I don't think they actually thought it was that. But eventually we went into the hospital to get a diagnosis. Both my parents came and we found out that the consultant wasn't actually there that day. So we'd built all our hopes up for getting this diagnosis, and then he wasn't there, so we had to do it again another day. Anyway, eventually, yes, they did find it, and I think their excuse for not finding it earlier was because I didn't have all the symptoms. So normally you have a high blood pressure. I don't have a high blood pressure, my family's blood pressure is very low, and so I've consistently been at the normal range, and just think they said, Oh, it was so small that we couldn't see it, the tumour.

Regina Sayer 26:48

Yeah, I was about to ask, how did they miss it in the scan?

Rachel Brown 26:51

I don't know. I they obviously weren't sure what they were looking for, but anyway, eventually they found it. All of this time I was still at university, I think, when they diagnosed it, and I had met my future husband through the social group that I'd been to, and he was actually my saving grace through university too, through particularly the last year. Most people say don't ever go out with somebody in your last year of university because it will completely put you off your studies. But for me, it was amazing because I would study from about eight till seven in the evening, and then we would go out together, and it helped me completely switch off. Otherwise, I would have burnt myself into the ground. So yeah, we went we carried on going out together, and then we got married about a year and a half, two years after I'd finished the degree,

Pituitary surgery and a second chronic illness

Rachel Brown 27:48

and then one month after I got married, I had the operation to remove the tumour from my pituitary.

Regina Sayer 27:55

So they had given the diagnosis by by this time. Finally said this is what it is.

Rachel Brown 28:00

Yeah.

Regina Sayer 28:01

Okay. And so your your husband to be knew all this going into it.

Rachel Brown 28:06

Yes.

Regina Sayer 28:07

I mean, that's quite young to go into a relationship knowing that, you know, there is it, it is baggage, you know.

Rachel Brown 28:13

Yeah, absolutely.

Regina Sayer 28:15

17 years of baggage that you've been carrying around. I mean, I don't know how did you manage to continue working in school and doing what you needed to do to get your studies when you were going back and forth so much to these hospitals and having these, you know, like you said, the worst thing that happened to you was having this photograph taken of you and all this prodding and tests done. I mean, what was going on in your head? Were you just kind of putting your mind saying, okay, I need to focus on school because otherwise I'm just gonna get swamped by all this other medical stuff that's happening to me?

Rachel Brown 28:54

Yeah, I think to be honest, I sort of blocked it out. And as you say, I did focus a lot on work and as a result did very well in my studies. But again, I think the music helped. That was always a whole Saturday morning, and then I'd also joined a quintet, so I was playing in that, and I also obviously had lessons with the oboe, and I also played the piano, so I had lessons with that. Again, I was constantly working towards an exam in those, but I would get up every morning, do half an hour oboe practice, half an hour piano practice before I went to school, and I think everything that had happened, even the moving so many times, had given me some sort of resilience. And my parents were also quite organized and quite sensible in persuading us, me and my sister, to do our homework first and then go on and do the things that you loved, which has sort of backfired out on me in a little bit in later life because I still think, well, I need to do all of this, and then it goes more and more and more, and then I never have time to do the things I like. But I'm learning. I'm learning.

Regina Sayer 30:12

So you had this operation. How old were you when you had it finally?

Rachel Brown 30:15

25.

Regina Sayer 30:16

So from from 13 to 25, and you said they actually thought it had started when you were eight.

Rachel Brown 30:22

Yeah.

Regina Sayer 30:22

Gosh. So when you had the operation, what did they come out of it saying that, okay, so now your body's going to start growing again? I mean, what was supposed to be the end result of them removing this?

Rachel Brown 30:35

So I had two-thirds of my pituitary removed. So a third was left. And they said it should wake up now and all the hormones will get back to normal and and everything. But that has never happened. I'm 52 now and it still hasn't happened. I'm determined to make it happen. But I think the shock and also now I believe the limiting beliefs and things that have happened in the past are still impacting that. But the result was then, because it didn't wake up, that I now have another chronic illness called pan-hypopituitarism, which is where my pituitary produces absolutely nothing, no hormones whatsoever. And so I have to have I have to take steroids every day to keep me alive, basically. And I have a steroid injection which I need to carry around with me in case I'm in an accident, because my body doesn't produce the stress that a normal body would do if you're in that sort of situation. So I have that, I have thyroxine because obviously the pituitary produces TSH thyroxine stimulating hormone to get the thyroxin working. So no thyroxine in my body, oestrogen initially to support having periods, just so that my body was in a sort of normal mode. And I've been on antidepressants since I was 19 because it it impacts that part of the brain. And again, to start with, a lot of people, including myself, thought that it was a bit of a a dent on me, on my pride, really, that I was on antidepressants, and there is still a lot of that around. But actually, it really is just a replacement of a hormone in your body that isn't functioning properly.

Regina Sayer 32:33

You said that Cushing disease it means that you do not have the stress hormone?

Rachel Brown 32:38

Cushing's disease you have ten times too much. So there's it's one hormone that comes out of your pituitary to act on your adrenals where this stress is.

Regina Sayer 32:49

So all this time, all this pressure that you had been feeling was potentially all of this stress that was just building and building and building.

Rachel Brown 32:58

Yeah. and and and I was able to do a lot, you know, I was in all of the sports teams and everything. When when they'd done the operation, they said, well, you should start to feel better now. And I never really did, and that's because of the pan-hypopituitarism. Again, I've seen doctors since, and they said you must feel better after the operation, and I don't. It causes a lot of fatigue. If I am stressed, you know, my body can't produce any more stress, so it it just impacts that area of my life and again brings on fatigue.

Regina Sayer 33:36

And this is what the cortizone shot is for.

Rachel Brown 33:39

Yeah.

Regina Sayer 33:40

And are there any side effects of continuously having a steroid shot like that?

Rachel Brown 33:45

Well, I've never had one, other than when I when I gave birth to my boys.

Regina Sayer 33:50

Okay.

Rachel Brown 33:50

It's a really difficult balance. They say you should have extra hydrocortisone if you're ill in terms of physically ill, particularly if you have diarrhoea and vomiting because you're getting rid of the stuff that you put in. But I also think mentally, you know, a lot of stress is used up mentally, but they don't say anything about managing tablets that way. It's really what led me down the path I'm on today because, well, I haven't finished where I was, so I'd fin I

Pharmacology, stress and holistic therapies

Rachel Brown 34:23

carried on to do pharmacy for five years.

Regina Sayer 34:26

So how was that when you first got into pharmacy? Did you find it interesting?

Rachel Brown 34:31

Yes, you have to do a pre-registration year in pharmacy, which is sort of like your final year and you do an exam at the end. And I worked in a children's hospital, which it was interesting. I was always very stressed about it. I think stress is a theme through my life. Partly because during the university degree, I was doing a dispensing class, and when you have an antibiotic liquid for a child, you get a hundred mil bottled usually. And I naively thought you have to add a hundred mils to the powder to make up the liquid. One of my tutors came over to me and saw me doing this and absolutely blew my head off because she said I could have killed a child, it should have only been 83 millilitres, not 100 millilitres, something like that. And I think because uh I was in such a vulnerable state at that time, it really stuck with me. And that whole dispensing and making sure you've got it exactly right, it was beyond worried about how I was whether I was going to kill someone in pharmacy. So I actually then got a job in industry at 3M. Most people know 3M for masking tape and all of that sort of stuff, but 3M actually they had a pharmaceutical arm and they did a lot on inhalers, and I became a clinical trials pharmacist. So I was writing all the scripts for packing up the different parts of a trial for people to do at the other end, and um I loved it. I really loved it apart from the signing off again because I was worried I was signing something wrong. But yeah, I could I probably could have stayed there for a long time, except that I used my initiative, which you would think was a good thing, but I used my initiative to redo a store cupboard that had old shelves with all of the stuff in it for creating pharmaceuticals, and I decided that we needed one of those wheelie shelves that you could get together, and it was a really good thing, but I don't think my boss liked the fact that I'd taken this initiative and it became quite nasty. So after two years there, I left and I went to do a holistic therapy degree or diploma, which was a year's diploma, because I'd already started to see the impact of the doctors saying, Well, you're cured, Rachel. All your blood results are within range, there's nothing more we can do, we're happy, but I wasn't happy. And I was like, Well, I think there is more I can do on the mental and emotional side, and so I did this diploma and I did reflexology, aromatherapy, massage, and I'd also been doing Reiki alongside it.

Regina Sayer 37:23

And how did you discover Reiki? How did you get into that?

Rachel Brown 37:26

Well, it's all of connections in life. My mum had been playing tennis with this lady, and she was part of something called the Cancer Support Centre, and although my tumour was benign, she said it still has affected you in such a difficult way that you are allowed to be a member of this cancer support centre, and as part of that, they do Reiki training for people so that they can do it on themselves. So that's where I first learnt it. And I did Reiki One and then stayed at Reiki One for a long, long time until about six or seven years ago when I did Reiki 2.

Regina Sayer 38:06

That cancer support centre was that attached to a hospital or was that just uh

Rachel Brown 38:12

Yeah, it's uh a charity within our area.

Regina Sayer 38:15

Interesting, okay.

Rachel Brown 38:17

So I I I did that and I think I was what was I at the time, 26 or 27, and because my illness was still in, you know, the second illness was still early stages. I uh I didn't have the confidence to set up on my own. And again, uh that was in the 1990s. It wasn't common to have these alternative complementary therapies in businesses. So I went back into hospital pharmacy.

Regina Sayer 38:46

And you're married by now?

Rachel Brown 38:48

Yes, married. Yeah, so I went back into hospital pharmacy and naively thinking that I could take the holistic therapies into hospital, which still isn't a thing really, unless it's for cancer support, because there isn't really any clinical trials and the government needs clinical trials for them to be approved. So yeah, I I did some dispensing in hospital pharmacy, found it horrendous again because of the stress of killing somebody. So then I moved after two years to do medicines information, which I loved. It was very much about answering questions, research, which was a bit more my bag. And then when we were 30, we went to Australia. Just about three or four months before that, I'd just become an NHS Direct pharmacist. NHS Direct was a um scheme in the UK where people could call nurses outside of hours, or if they didn't feel it was important enough to go to the doctor, and the the nurses would go through a set of questions and give answers at the end. And so I went in as a trainer for the nurses for different uh scenarios and medicines and that sort of thing. And that was okay. I wasn't confident about speaking, so that caused a lot of issues at the time. But then, as I said, we went to Australia for our 30th birthdays, and I came back and was really very ill because again, doctors had not told me how to manage my medications when I was over there with the change of time. And because I get very tired as well, that whole 12-hour difference, and we did we zipped across the whole of the east side of Australia in three weeks, and so I came home and I was absolutely on my knees, had the first migraine I'd ever had in my life, and went back to medicine's information, and I just couldn't do it. For whatever reason, I just could not do it, lost more confidence, and so in the end I gave up. I think I had six months off ill, actually, then, and then I just decided that it was ridiculous.

Teaching, breakdown, IVF and motherhood

Rachel Brown 41:03

So I I then applied to do my PGCE in education, primary education, after all that time when I was 30. I absolutely loved that year. It was one of the best years I've ever had. I think working with children was just amazing, and I felt like I was on the right path finally. But then I went to do my training year again. You have to do a training year to finally get qualified, and I had the mentor from hell. I lasted three weeks and then had a nervous breakdown so badly that it caused my husband to have a nervous breakdown as well. And it was my parents again who stepped in to help.

Regina Sayer 41:47

Why do you say it was the mentor from hell? What happened? Just as an example.

Rachel Brown 41:51

Yeah. So she hadn't explained to me about the emails. Emails only came in when I was at university, so I wasn't au fay with them particularly. I mean, it was 10 years on, but even so, she hadn't explained that to me. And apparently on the emails, she'd said, We're having a meeting about your folder for your final dissertation, etc. And I hadn't picked it up, and so I completely missed the meeting, and then she came in like a bull in a china shop and completely tore a strip off me that I hadn't seen it, I hadn't done anything, she hadn't even mentioned it to me verbally that this was happening. And I went crying to another teacher, and she came in and told me I shouldn't share my troubles with anybody else. It was my thing. I'd also started my own sort of tradition where the children would gather on the carpet in the morning, they'd just read their own books, and there was a teaching assistant who was helping me who'd been there a long time and was in the pocket of this mentor, and they undermined me and said I shouldn't be doing that. So it was really, really difficult. And and I also at that time, my husband and I had decided that we would go down the IVF route. Obviously, with all my hormonal difficulties, I couldn't have children naturally, and I'd been told I probably wouldn't be able to have children. So we'd gone down this IVF route just before I started, so I think that as well wasn't helpless. So yeah, I gave that job up, and actually the IVF didn't work, which I'm absolutely certain is because of the stress that was caused through those three weeks. So we tried again.

Regina Sayer 43:37

How does a couple as a couple deal when both of you are having a nervous breakdown? Normally you have one person who supports the other, but when both of you are affected, how did you manage that? I mean, how did you manage to resolve that time?

Rachel Brown 43:52

Again, my parents, they were amazing. They helped us. I I don't recall exactly. I think my husband may not have been. Quite as bad as me, but I think it was just literally taking every moment as it came. And again, I think resilience, you know, for me, it's you deal with what you've got in the moment. Again, the more I've learnt recently, the more it's about beliefs and how your mind and body are so connected.

Regina Sayer 44:21

But there was no therapy. You didn't go to any kind of therapy at all. You just sort of dug in and said, okay, this is what we do.

Rachel Brown 44:29

Yeah, it was it was hard. And I think the whole IVF situation was was difficult as well. Yeah, we just went again. We had money to go again, and my friend at the time had suggested I just go for a temping job because it wasn't as stressful. And so that's what I did. I worked there for three months, then I got a full-time job, and then six months later I gave up because I was six months pregnant and I couldn't carry on because my body was like, whoa, this is slightly different. So the second round of IVF worked, and that was also at the same time that you were having doing this temp job, so it was a lot less stress.

Regina Sayer 45:10

It's interesting. I hear this several times from different guests when they go through IVF that it's so stressful, and that if you can sort of calm yourself down, that it can help with the process.

Rachel Brown 45:22

Yeah, well, it's interesting as well, because I think a lot of people who have IVF struggle when they down regulate the hormones, which is the first part of it. But for me, I didn't have to have that because my hormones are non-existent anyway. So I live in that sort of bubble all the time. And so it wasn't really any different for me other than taking daily injections. But I had definitely learnt from the teaching experience and having IVF that I needed to look after myself more. So yeah, then three months after I left, we had my first child, and it was just honestly the most amazing thing ever. And I had two amazing years and decided that we should have another child. So we went through another round. I only had three eggs, and the consultant said, Well, we need to abort that round. And I was like, Well, we can't because we haven't got any more money. And she said, Oh well, we'll just do it then. And that's when I got my second son, and they are both miracle boys to me because they obviously wanted to come into my life, and they have been my saving grace, really. I had seven years out with them, and it again they were some of the best years that I've had, because I wasn't really responsible to anybody external. I could do what was deep inside of me as a mother, and I'd always wanted to be a mum. And I think that's something else that I truly believe that if you have a deep, deep desire and you truly believe it will work, then it will against all odds.

Regina Sayer 47:01

All of the time when you were going through the IVF and everything else that you did during the period to get your two kids, were you also going back to the Reiki and to these other types of practices, or were you learning any other types of quote spiritual practices or holistic practices that were different from what you had been taught in the past?

Rachel Brown 47:20

Not at that time. I did have Reiki quite regularly with my first when I was pregnant by the lady that actually got me into the cancer support centre. So she did quite regular Reiki on me, which was amazing. I used to fall asleep with it. And my son actually, it was the first time I think I felt him kick after a Reiki session. So it has the most amazing impact and the whole energy thing, it's where everything else in my business recently has come from, that whole idea of energy. So yeah, I I didn't really do anything else with it at that point. I think I did do Reiki actually on the boys quite often when they were struggling to sleep. And I'd do a little bit of reflexology as well, often at bedtime, just to calm them down. Reflexology at bedtime has been one of the most amazing things that's worked for the children.

Regina Sayer 48:18

You know, I remember one time when we were in Mauritius and my son was maybe, I don't know, he just learned to walk. He was, I don't know, a year and a half. And oh my gosh, he was just crying and crying. And the only thing I would do is I would reach back and I would rub his feet, and he would go right to sleep. That was how I knew after that to calm him down, the rubbing of the feet, and I guess that has something to do with the reflexology points.

Rachel Brown 48:45

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. The middle point just under the ball of the foot is the solar plexus, which is all to do with energy, and usually just doing that is enough. So yeah, I did I did do that a lot with them. But after seven years, although I loved it at home, my brain was itching to do something again for me. I didn't really know what to do, so I went and became a supply teaching assistant and a higher level teaching assistant so I could use my degree. And I I found myself in special needs schools, which I find is interesting because I've always been drawn, I think, to children. And my aunt was physically and mentally disabled, and I think having grown up with her and learned how to communicate and and do activities that made her smile, it was in my blood anyway to do that. So I ended up teaching in various different special needs schools, which I absolutely adored. But at the same time, I had two small boys who needed to be ferrying to and from school, and I'd having to change their routines and find someone after school, and my husband was having to take them to school, which he didn't like because that changed his routine, and after a while it got stressful again, and I finally decided, aged 42, that I would set up my own business at that time, and so that's when my holistic therapy started to come back, and from that it's developed more into the idea of energy and generational healing, which from my own experience I totally believe is what I'm doing now as a therapist on myself, on my children. There's so much that comes down through the generations, beliefs that our parents had, that our grandparents had, and it's not who we are as a person. And so the more I've done that, the more I freed myself from the past. And I now really believe that my illness was there as a gift to allow me to see what had caused it, what beliefs had caused it, how it was impacting me, and work on those areas so that I could start to live alongside it rather than with it, and pass that knowledge on to my children and to anybody else who was in a similar situation.

Regina Sayer 51:19

So when you decided to

Building a business around parents and children

Regina Sayer 51:21

set up your business at that point, I mean, in terms of therapies, you were still with the classical reflexology and aromatherapies, the things that were unquote accepted. So did you do any other studying and decide to learn any other modalities at this point?

Rachel Brown 51:36

I did do chair massage because I still wasn't sure what I was going to do. I think what I'd realized was that every time I'd been in a job, that my body always told me when it was time to quit, that I always became ill in some form or other when I was in a job. And again, it just the amazingness of the body to be able to share that with you in some way, but at the same time, it shouldn't ever get to that point where you are so ill that you can't do anything. So I started on this holistic therapy journey as a job, thinking that I would do regular sessions with people of reflexology and all of that, and I did chair massage because I thought maybe I could go into corporate and do it there because the well-being in corporate is not great. But I was still searching. I searched for a long time to feel really safe in what I was doing and really aligned. I also did a course in fertility massage. I learned how to make aromatherapy products. So I did lots and I did actually do a lot. I did an aromatherapy course for elderly people. All at the same time, I'd come across people online who were talking about passive income and how to make more from business, which set me on a whole other level that went on for a long time. But finally I found my current coach, who is a self-mastery coach and very much into the idea of energy, that everything is energy, that the universe is supporting us, that generational trauma can be reversed if you go deep enough. And that's really where my passion is now for helping parents, really. So working from the top down. And I have written books and I've written I've created monsters to support children because they can't always tell us what they're feeling, and so I wanted a way to support them. But it's all very well supporting the children. But if the parents are also not supported, then some of that good work can be undone in that home situation. And so I think just really helping everybody understand the limiting beliefs that are stopping them from doing what they truly believe, finding their purpose, getting them aligned. There's so much, and and I think I've actually lived it a lot based on everything that I've been through. You know, the resilience that I've learned from moving so many times, the just keeping on going when everything felt awful. And without knowing it, I think all of those things have led me to where I am now, to understanding their reasoning. We never know why something happens, and we can always say that it's working for the wrong reasons, but there is always a reason for these things. You know, had I not moved three times and had my sister's best friend not been a nurse, I'd maybe not be diagnosed.

Regina Sayer 54:56

Yeah, that's amazing that that happened. I can't even begin to imagine what would have happened if your sister didn't have this friend.

Rachel Brown 55:03

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

Rest, achievement, personal value & listening to the body

Regina Sayer 55:05

And as you've been doing all this work, what would you say are some of the key belief systems that you found within yourself that you have been healing or are still working on healing?

Rachel Brown 55:16

I think one of the biggest ones is to give myself grace, to give myself time for me, and to not worry what anybody else does. They may work nine to five constantly, but I have to figure out what my body needs. If I need a rest, then I go and have a rest. But also, I think my ego has been so loud for so long because of the belief that I had to work to achieve. Now it's just taking a little step back each time I notice it saying, like, for example, coming back from holiday, most people in a normal nine to five have to go back to work straight away and get straight into it. And my ego's going, Well, what are you doing? You're not actually sitting down and doing any work. But I know my body after so many years, when I come back from holiday, I have to acclimatise back. And my boys have only just gone back to school today. And I need that space for me to start thinking and to really acknowledge myself for what I do do each day. You know, as mums, our brains are constantly on the go. My current coach has has said to me, you know, if you added up how much you would get paid for every job you do, it would be the same as a full-time job or more. And we're doing that and running our own business, and it we have to give ourselves a lot of credit for that. And that's what I'm learning more and more. That everything that I do is a step forwards and to trust the outcome. I think before it's always been, or when I was a child, it was always been you'll do this and you'll get that, and I knew that. But in business it's different, and it's very much about trusting what happens. And I think also money, I mean, money's a huge one with everybody. I had to overcome massive limiting beliefs about investing in coaches to get to where I was. And I think even though deep down I know that I am a success and I will be even more of a success as I keep going, that ego mind again is like, well, you've invested this much and and such and such, and your parents told you never to go into debt. And I haven't gone into debt, I've just used savings, but it's that whole thing, and wow, I had to work through a lot of that to even invest in the first place.

Regina Sayer 57:52

Yeah, and I I don't know for you, but I know for me at the times when I didn't work. So for example, in Singapore, because of the way things are set up, person who comes in is the working spouse and the other one is the accompanying spouse, and you pretty much, you know, unless you get hired and get a work permit, you can't do anything. So for a long time I wasn't doing anything, and because I wasn't contributing monetarily, I felt like I had no value. Yeah. It's a really sucky place to feel. I don't know if you experienced that at all when you weren't working and you were staying home.

Rachel Brown 58:28

Yeah. To start with, I think with the boys, you know, I knew motherhood, you have to look after the children, and and that was my job. And I was absolutely certain and safe in that place. But as I said, as the years went on, it started to come back that I should be contributing. And again, that's all limiting beliefs, you know, societal beliefs as well as family beliefs. And it's not our beliefs. We need to get back to those deep-rooted, who am I? What's my purpose? Is my purpose to be a mum at home, or is my purpose something bigger? And everybody's different. And some of the clients that I've seen, you know, it they've they've been in the similar boat because there's so much pressure on us. I want mums to just realize that they are perfect as they are. They don't need to push anymore, but they can get back to that aligned self if they want to.

Regina Sayer 59:24

Yeah. And I just want to go back to something that you mentioned earlier. It was the fact you're talking about like when you feel into your body or when you're going to work and your body is telling you that, you know, it's showing symptoms that the work is not agreeing with you. I have heard it call because I've experienced it. Psychosomatic illness. It's almost like you make yourself sick because you dislike this job so much that you actually then do become sick. And that used to happen to me like when I lived in Paris, I had this job that I wasn't too thrilled about and used to get terrible colds or flu to the point where I couldn't go to work. And it was because I really disliked my job and the person that I was working for at that time wasn't the nicest person in the world. So yeah, I mean, I know that I've often through my life where things come up, and I have to be very, very careful now because I know that I can create that reality for myself. . So I have to be very, very careful. I was supposed to do a podcast early in the morning and I was just woke up and I I'd been thinking for the last day of I don't want to do this podcast. I'm just so tired, and boom, it was canceled. Of course, I wish it had been canceled the night before that I didn't get up early the next morning, but it it was canceled, you know. So I think, oh, you need to really be careful, but you put out there. And you put out there, oh, you know, I don't want to go to work, it's making me sick, or I feel bad, or and I think you can create that illness as well.

Rachel Brown 1:00:58

You can. You can. But I also think a lot of it is to do with the hormones in your body, you know, when you're stressed, how it worked with me, I'm not sure. But when you're stressed, the stress hormone impacts your immune system, it impacts your digestive system. And the first thing we need to do, and in fact, everybody, whether they feel they're under pressure or not, is to feel safe in the body. And I think often that goes back to the little child that we were, the inner child, often in situations they don't feel safe. And in my own experience, you know, moving that many times, the inner child of me doesn't feel safe. And so it's no wonder that when when I'm doing something new, or my ego's telling me to do work and my self-body is telling me not, that my inner child is going completely mad because the only way that I could cope before was to do work. And I think that safety in the body is something that is so, so important before anything else happens.

Regina Sayer 1:02:01

And how do your family react to all these holistic therapies and this new way of thinking that you have evolved into?

Rachel Brown 1:02:10

My husband, not so much, because he's an engineer and very logical. And so I think for him it it's just completely alien and he doesn't even know what to ask me about it. So that can be difficult because there isn't total support. And I think I've grown a lot in myself, whereas he stayed where he was when we first met, and I think that can cause us to rub up against each other sometimes. My parents are brilliant, they always say the right things, but I always think there's a but afterwards, you know. They they are proud of me, I know they are, and all parents will always be proud of their children generally. I think they see the resilience to keep going that has been born out of everything that I've done before. They see that and they celebrate it with me, but I also think they still believe that my illness I have to be careful of. And the more I've stepped into this new version of me, the more I've been able to do, and the more I've believed in myself. And so that sometimes is difficult because I'm still being dragged back into the past with my relationships.

Regina Sayer 1:03:26

And in terms of any of the types of medications that you had to take as a result of the operation, and I'm sure also after you gave birth to your kids, you had a different set of medication that you probably needed to then change to. Has any of that changed also with you being able to change your beliefs as well?

Rachel Brown 1:03:47

No, and this is where I think traditional medicine and complementary therapy rub up so well alongside each other. It may be possible in the future. I'm not at that point yet. The medicines I take at the moment are basically keeping me alive, but I think alongside that, if you can work with the complementary therapies, with the energetics, because we are all energy and and everything in our body is energy and we store energy from past traumas and stuff, I think a lot of from what I've read, the pituitary is very much about control. It is the control centre after all, and I'm not still I'm getting better, but I'm not there yet in letting things happen and surrendering to what is going on and and stuff. And I think if I can do that and free myself of those beliefs that are still there, maybe things will change. And I'm determined, as I said at the beginning, I'm determined to do as what I can to make it change, but I also think there is a place for both.

Regina Sayer 1:04:54

And do you go to an integrated doctor or do you go to the normal doctor and then do you ever speak to them about these types of things that you're doing on the side to complement?

Rachel Brown 1:05:05

I do. Yeah, they they're not really that interested, to be honest. I just go to a normal consultant. I'm not sure whether we have integrated doctors here in the UK. I've never come across them. So yeah, it's very much about going to see them, making sure that they feel that the medical side is fine and then doing what I can. And again, I think I've spent a lot of money on trying to find ways to improve my physical self. And even the coaching, I would say, is more coaching for me than it is for my business. But then they're all integrated. If I'm happy and aligned, then my business will work. Again, I think it comes down to that whole belief that there is more to do. It's not settling, it's understanding that you're not quite feeling right and that something needs to be done. And I am dogged in finding. That answer, I think.

Regina Sayer 1:06:02

Yeah, because for so many years you be going in and out of hospitals and in and out of doctors and in and out of every kind of exam possible. And even though they took the thing out, then you still have this other issue. So it's like this continual medical. I mean, I don't know how you do it, to be honest. I mean, I I would be so stressed the whole time thinking about all these different things because I hate doctors. I mean, to be honest, I absolutely hate doctors. And I mean, every time I have to go to a doctor, I tell them, don't even bother checking my blood pressure because it's going to be sky high. I mean, two things. The fact that I had to drive here. And secondly, because I'm actually sitting in front of you, the doctor, even though you are an integrated doctor, you know, that I search high and low to find. But I mean, I don't know how have you been able to balance all of these years and years and years of dealing with the medical system to bring your body to where it is now.

Rachel Brown 1:07:01

I think in the first instance, it was just accepting that this is the situation and I, you know, I have to do it.

Regina Sayer 1:07:08

And that's from a young age.

Rachel Brown 1:07:10

Yeah. I mean it it's basically been my life. I don't know when they told me that it was life limiting, the fur well, they're both life limiting, but probably not until later on. But I think again, I think my parents had a lot to do with it in that, you know, you do something and you do it well. And I did it well. I went to the doctors all the time and I did it well. And it's become a way of life. I often wonder, because I've read a thing that says that someone who's had cushions they experience life a third less than everybody else, kind of thing, in how they approach how they feel, all of that kind of stuff. But you know, I don't know any different. I sometimes wonder what it's like to be in somebody else's shoes, but uh, how would I ever know it's not even worth going there? And I've lived with it for so long. And I think I think now that I'm doing stuff for myself, I feel a little bit more in control, which goes slightly against what I said before, and that I want to let go of control. But I think in doing meditating, in doing the energy work, I'm also giving that control to something external almost.

Regina Sayer 1:08:23

Do you look at it as being spiritual, as spiritual practices, what you're doing?

Rachel Brown 1:08:28

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, who knows what there is. But I was brought up as a Christian and probably never totally believed in God, but I always believed there was something out there supporting me. And there must have been for me to still be here, to have two children, there must be something. And I think knowing that is such a relief. My spiritual practice is not a hundred percent by any means, but the more I'm learning, the more I am surrendering whatever happens to that, knowing that whatever happens will be right. And I think, you know, energy, where where does that come from? It's got to have come from somewhere, and and and we are all energy. So I don't know. I suppose I try in my mind and and merge the scientific with the slightly spiritual and come up with something.

Regina Sayer 1:09:26

Are you still doing music?

Rachel Brown 1:09:27

Not really. I did join a choir for a little bit, but again, that became difficult with the boys. We've still got the piano and I tinkle on it a little bit. But it is something that I I do need to get back to because sound bowls are one of the most favourite things that I have done ever in my life. And I think, you know, it that music, that vibration, it's just

Conscious parenting, supporting children and generational healing

Rachel Brown 1:09:50

the best.

Regina Sayer 1:09:52

Okay, so talk about what it is exactly that you're doing now, because you said you're working with I mean, it sounds a lot like conscious parenting as well. That working with parents to be conscious parents, and then how to also work with children as well as a parent.

Rachel Brown 1:10:08

Yeah, so I think with my own experiences, I realized that, as I said, my illness was a gift to help me understand how to release the pressure of that illness. And as I've looked back through my life, I've realized that there were huge amounts of stress in my family. My great-grandmother lost her father and her two brothers in the war, and then she lost her son, and her daughter, my granny, then had lots of illnesses. She gave birth to my aunt physically, mentally handicapped, all of this, and I think it's all come down the line to me. And that massive amount of stress is a wake-up call for me to look into why to release the beliefs. And so, I mean, it all started really in lockdown when I saw how stressed my children were, how stressed their parents were, and I really wanted to do something about it. And as I said, I think I've lived a life where I've learnt to deal with it and not raise my voice so much, although I probably did when I when they were younger, but I've I've learnt from that and and the whole idea of emotions and things that impact us negatively from a hormonal point of view, from uh a stress point of view, from all of these things. And as a mum and a woman myself, the more I've worked on my own self and my business, the more I've realized how affected other mums are, and how I've got a son who's got dyslexia, and I was dogged in getting information and support for him, and the school systems really aren't up to the task. And it's us as mums who know something are wrong, and then the school says no, nothing's wrong, and you and you start doubting yourself. And so I I started by supporting the children with these books and mental health monsters and things, but then the more I've looked into it, the more I think, well, yes, it's great supporting the children, and they definitely need it because they're gonna be the next generation. But if, for example, they're supported in school, when they come home and their parents are still in the same situation they were years ago, then it's gonna undo all that good. And what's so amazing about generational healing is that because of that energy, if a if a parent can release the limiting beliefs, release those difficult emotions, they start to pull in more positive energy, and that energy, our energy bubbles interact, and so our children will pick up on it automatically, and they will model what their parents are doing. And I've seen it in my own life, and it's just the most phenomenal thing. And so by supporting the mums and the parents, I'm also supporting the children.

Regina Sayer 1:13:01

And how are you doing generational healing? Is it through belief systems or is it through energy practices?

Rachel Brown 1:13:07

There's all sorts. Yeah, I have a six-month programme which I support mums, and we have like coaching, so I support them to learn how to identify beliefs in the first place, to really listen into their body that tells them what's going on if they don't feel quite right, not to just suppress it, but to sit with it. I do inner child healing to find out maybe where those beliefs came from in the first place. I also do reflexology and energy clearing work, and I've just done a breath work qualification so we can do that, which is brilliant for the safety because the vagus nerve goes through the lungs, through the diaphragm, and so it the vagus nerve is really good for calming the system down. So breath work is amazing for that. I mean, I basically do whatever is needed for that person. So one client I had came particularly worried about her weight, and it was sort of a running theme that we didn't really get to for quite some time because we were working around with her children's attitudes and stuff. But eventually we did do an inner child healing, and it took her back to a time when she was three or four, and she pictured herself and and didn't really think that her weight was an issue within the meditation. But as she got home and started thinking about it, what she realized was that all of the things that her parents had done, like trying to get a larger size clothes, etc., when she was little, had morphed from her weight being a problem into her being a problem. And that had lived with her for years and years, and to the point that she thought that when somebody cancelled on her, she thought it was her problem, that she'd become the victim, that she had to keep her house extra tidy because otherwise people would say that she was the issue. And it was just amazing. I saw her about seven weeks ago, she'd lost weight and she looked absolutely amazing. And I it's just the best feeling when you can support somebody to release that pressure that's been on them for so long.

Regina Sayer 1:15:26

So we're just gonna mention it briefly here because we have a special episode that's gonna come up where we're gonna go into more detail about this. But can you talk about these little monsters that you keep referring to and just give us a little bit of brief preview of what that is, and also these books that you've written that uh I think they accompany these monsters?

Rachel Brown 1:15:44

Yeah. So again, as as I said,

Helping children express emotions

Rachel Brown 1:15:47

the idea came to me in lockdown. Um because of my Reiki training and working in schools, I knew that children learn best when they're involved. There's a quote by Benjamin Franklin, I think, teach me and I'll forget something else. Involve me and I'll remember that that's how it ends. And so I wanted to provide children with a way to help them express their emotions even if they didn't know what they were feeling. And so I used the idea of the chakras or the energy centres within our body, which all have a different colour, and created these monsters one of each of the chakra colours. And the idea was that, or is that when a child doesn't know what they're feeling, the parent can present them with these colours or the monsters, and whichever they pick, we can then work out what emotion they're feeling based on the energy centre of that colour, because each energy centre has different emotions linked to it based on past traumas. So the root chakra, for example, is red, that usually develops between the time of in the wound to six months. So if any trauma happens within that time, be that to the mother during pregnancy or up to six months of the baby, then energy can get stuck there and they feel unsafe and insecure. And so if they pick red, we often know that something is causing them to feel unsafe and insecure. And then each energy centre or chakra has unique properties to it. So again, the root chakra is very much linked to the element of earth, and so one of the activities that I can help children do is go out and do gardening or run around in bare feet, and it just helps to release the negative energy that's stuck there and bring in more positive energy. So the monsters are accompanied, as you say, by books which teach them these different ideas of what emotions there are for each energy centre and what activities they can do to help them feel better. And then alongside that, there's also a card pack of awesomeness because I wanted to create like a fun oracle deck for children. So again, there's three of each of the colours of the chakras, and they just pick the one that they're drawn to, like with any oracle card in the morning. But on the back is the monster of that colour with an affirmation and two activities they can do to help them feel better. So that's uh what that is, yeah.

Regina Sayer 1:18:25

Okay. So we are going to have a special episode where Rachel is going to actually show us these books and show us these monsters, excuse me, show us these monsters and go into a little bit more detail how that works and also where you can find that. But you also just ran something called Chakra Kids, I think. You were doing something during the summer where you were setting up activities for kids or what was that?

Rachel Brown 1:18:47

I did, yeah. I mean, I've sort of changed chakra kids now to just Rachel Brown because I encompass the parents and the children. But Chakra Kids really was all based on that idea of going through the different energy centres and teaching them different activities to do.

Regina Sayer 1:19:05

Okay. So if anybody wants to connect with you or follow your work, how can they do that?

Rachel Brown 1:19:10

So I've got a Facebook group which is all about conscious parenting, the idea that if your child triggers you, for example, I didn't really say that, but yeah, conscious parenting is if if your child triggers you, if something they say or do annoys you or upsets you, then it's your chance to look inside to understand what emotion has been bought up within you and to heal that. Yes, it's called conscious parenting, but it's a Facebook group. I think there's a link to it. I've also got an Instagram page, and I have got a website

From reactive to regulated

Rachel Brown 1:19:43

and there's also a free guide that there's a link to as well, which is Reactive to Regulated, and it gives you a five-minute, three-step guide to dealing with the stress that happens when you're triggered by your child.

Regina Sayer 1:19:56

As a little preview for that then, is that a tool that you can give or an advice that you can give one of those there? And then everybody can go and download the book for the rest .

Rachel Brown 1:20:05

Yeah, so the first step is to become aware.

Regina Sayer 1:20:08

And does it matter what age?

Rachel Brown 1:20:10

No, not really, because we're all triggered by different things, and we will continue to be triggered until we heal the emotion that has been brought to the surface. So, yeah, the first step is just to be aware of when you are triggered, to notice what happens in your body. So, for example, my son recently has been trying he's doing his A levels this year, and he's had a lot of homework over the holidays, and he gets himself really worked up because of his dyslexia that he can't do it, and and all of this. And my instinct is to automatically go, you can do it, you're fine. Don't worry. And he told me yesterday when I said don't worry, automatically, he said, Well, that's not very helpful, mum, is it? And I think when I tune in, it's very much in the heart centre. It's like a tension, because the heart centre is to do with self-worth and self-love. And I think I almost feel if he isn't doing it, it's a a reflection on me, which it really isn't. Becoming aware of where in your body you're feeling that, and then starting to understand by sitting with it, by journaling with it, by doing whatever, what emotion that is. And often that may be that you know what the energy center is, but just becoming aware first. And I I just will say that I eventually worked out for myself that what he needed was safety. So I said, look, Josh, I'm I'm here for you. I will always be your backstop. And uh whatever you need, I will be there, even if it is going to tell the teachers that you've worked hard. You know, I'm constantly learning myself, but it's those things, just being aware of what's going on in your body when something happens.

Regina Sayer 1:22:01

Yeah, I think it's quite interesting because I'm not sure many parents would admit that they are the ones being triggered because something in their own past is not healed.

Rachel Brown 1:22:11

Yeah, and it's it's a whole education in itself, but it's so powerful. And their child is doing it because they're picking up that emotion from them, because it's an energy. Energy is is an emotion. The Latin word for energy is emotire, which means energy in motion, and so that energy is pumping out and the child picks it up.

Regina Sayer 1:22:34

So when somebody does tune in to whatever this emotion is or whatever this event is, what is the tool that they can then use to then help process that?

Rachel Brown 1:22:44

So I think in the first instance, breath work, something called coherence breathing, because when that emotion first comes up, your nervous system will probably go into overdrive because your subconscious will probably remember the situations where it came up, even if you don't in the first place. And when that happens, your nervous system, as I said, starts to work over time. And so we need to calm the nervous system down through breath work. A simple activity is coherence breathing, where you breathe in through the nose for three, breathe out through the nose for three. If you can do four or five, that's great. But there should be no pauses at the top or the bottom. And the whole idea is to, as you breathe in like that, because your nervous system is connected to your cardiovascular system, your heart rate starts to slow down, and that tells your brain that you're safe. And when you feel safe, you have a much clearer mind in order to think things through more logically.

Regina Sayer 1:23:51

Okay. So that's breathe in for the count of three through the nose. Don't hold it, and then breathe right back out. So no holding in the in-breath and no holding on the outbreath.

Rachel Brown 1:24:03

Yeah.

Regina Sayer 1:24:04

Okay. And there's no risk of anybody hyperventilating if they do that?

Rachel Brown 1:24:07

Not with those, no, not with that one.

Regina Sayer 1:24:09

Okay. And how long would they do that for?

Rachel Brown 1:24:11

I would suggest for at least a minute, because it takes that time, particularly if you're stressed, to calm down and do it slowly, you know, one, two, three, one, two, three.

Regina Sayer 1:24:26

Okay. Yeah, not one, two, three, one, two, three.

Rachel Brown 1:24:29

Yeah.

Regina Sayer 1:24:30

There's something interesting that I've noticed with my own breathing, is that sometimes it's like I can breathe in more, but I have difficulty breathing out longer. And I always I was told by my yoga instructor in Singapore that it means that you're unable to release stuff easily. That you you're taken in so much, you can take in so much, you could take in so much with the breath, and you're taking in so much with your senses and everything else, but you're having a hard time exhaling, letting it go, letting it out.

Rachel Brown 1:25:03

Yeah, there's another a really good breathing exercise that helps with that, particularly at bedtime, because often our brains go completely bonkers at bedtime. So one of the ones that's really good is breathing in for four through the nose, holding for seven, and breathing out through the mouth for eight. And that completely allows you to rest and calm the body. And that exercise again helps you to breathe everything out. Because as you say, we can breathe in, and if we're holding the breath, it's because something is worrying us or or we're anxious about it or whatever. I find it so fascinating that most illnesses, well, in fact, all illnesses I think have an emotional cause to them.

Regina Sayer 1:25:47

Yeah. As you were speaking there, it I don't know why it flashed into my mind, but I just remember all my life I I've been told that I don't breathe very well, but I feel like a lot of my life I've been, you know, sort of afraid of certain things a lot. And so I think that affects your breathing as well when you live in fear as well. And sometimes I even find where I feel like I've stopped breathing. You know, and it and it's not like I'm living in fear right now, but you know, whatever is still within me, I have to catch myself in those moments, go, okay, breathe, breathe. You're not breathing. How are you alive? You're not breathing.

Rachel Brown 1:26:23

That's why breath work is so, so powerful, particularly the conscious connected breath work, which is what I was trained in, because it completely shuts down the logical brain and gets to the mammalian brain, which is where all of your emotions are stored. And so they have to come to the surface. And as you breathe out, you release them. Yeah, it's breath work is is can can't be underestimated, really. It's so powerful.

Regina Sayer 1:26:48

Yeah, there was something I was listening to a podcast, and somebody was talking about when you're anxious or I don't remember what it was, but there's a type of breathing where you breathe in and then you exhale two times, and it's like letting out a sigh, like you let out a sigh. And oh my gosh, when I did that, I felt like I was gonna cry.

Rachel Brown 1:27:06

Yeah.

Regina Sayer 1:27:07

And I thought, what the heck is this?

Rachel Brown 1:27:09

Well, the diaphragm holds emotions. So as you push out, you're actually flexing your diaphragm and you're releasing the tension that's built up from those emotions.

Regina Sayer 1:27:21

Yeah, this like sigh that you know you do when you're frustrated. You just, you know, yeah. I mean, how often do we sigh anymore? You know, you can't you can't be caught sighing because that's not a good sign. That means that you're not happy with something.

Rachel Brown 1:27:34

Yeah. And actually, the first thing they said when I did the breath work was if you sigh, it shows that you're not breathing correctly.

Regina Sayer 1:27:42

Got to be more weary of that now. Anyway, before we close, is there any other particular advice or anything else

Rachel’s closing advice

Regina Sayer 1:27:50

that's on your mind that you think that listeners would appreciate hearing?

Rachel Brown 1:27:53

I think what I would say is that we are never stuck in life. If you're feeling stuck, it's an opportunity and it's a way of tuning in to what is causing you to be stuck. We all have a purpose in life. I'm absolutely certain of it, but sometimes we can get dragged down a particular route or a particular way of life because of beliefs that we've been brought up with, societal beliefs. And I think if you know that you're meant for more, then there is a way that we can work through all of those things and start to release it so that you feel freer and more able to live that life you desire.

Regina Sayer 1:28:41

Great. Thank you for that. All right. So the links to connect with Rachel will be in the show notes. Please do if you have any questions. Also, if you think that maybe you have this similar type of illness that Rachel has, I'm sure that you would appreciate if anybody did reach out that you might be able to help them in that way. Uh so do reach out to her and do follow her and stay tuned for the special episode that we will have where we're going to talk about the little monsters and the books that she's written that are both for parents and kids alike, I think. All right. That draws us to the end of the podcast. And I thank you, listeners. And again, Rachel, thank you so much for spending time after you just got back from your lovely holiday.

Rachel Brown 1:29:24

It was a pleasure. Thank you.

Regina Sayer 1:29:26

And until the next time, everyone, have a gorgeous, beautiful day wherever you are in this vast world. Bye, everyone.